Abbott & Costello on the US Unemployment rate

I claim NO credit for this (unfortunately - but my hat goes off to my friend and former police academy cohort Robyn (Langford) Schaible for sending me this...

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Abbott and Costello made famous a comedy routine called "Who's on First?".

(It's still out there on YouTube if you care to watch it again)

This is a 21st Century version of that routine. I hope you enjoy it.

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COSTELLO: I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America.

ABBOTT: Good Subject. Terrible Times. It's 9%.

COSTELLO: That many people are out of work?

ABBOTT: No, that's 16%.

COSTELLO: You just said 9%.

ABBOTT: 9% are collecting Unemployment benefits.

COSTELLO: Right 9% out of work.

ABBOTT: No, that's 16%.

COSTELLO: Okay, so it's 16% collecting unemployment benefits.

ABBOTT: No, that's 9%...

COSTELLO: WAIT A MINUTE. Is it 9% or 16%?

ABBOTT: 9% are collecting unemployment benefits. 16% are out of work.

COSTELLO: IF you are out of work you are unemployed.

ABBOTT: No, you can't count the "Out of Work" as the unemployed. You have to look for work and be paid for it to be counted as the unemployed.

COSTELLO: BUT THEY ARE OUT OF WORK!!!

ABBOTT: No, you miss my point.

COSTELLO: What point?

ABBOTT: Someone who doesn't get paid to look for work can't be counted with those who are paid to look for work. It wouldn't be fair.

COSTELLO: To who?

ABBOTT: The unemployed.

COSTELLO: BUT THEY'RE ALL UNEMPLOYED!!!

ABBOTT: No, the unemployed are getting paid to look for work... Those who are out of work and are not being paid are just "out of work." They used up all of their benefits, and if you don't have unemployment benefits, you are no longer in the ranks of the unemployed.

COSTELLO: So if you're off the unemployment roles, that would count as less unemployment?

ABBOTT: Unemployment would go down. Absolutely!

COSTELLO: The unemployment just goes down because you don't get paid to look for work?

ABBOTT: Absolutely it goes down. That's how you get to 9%. Otherwise it would be 16%. You don't want to read about 16% unemployment do ya?

COSTELLO: That would be frightening.

ABBOTT: Absolutely.

COSTELLO: Wait, I got a question for you. That means there are two ways to bring down the unemployment number?

ABBOTT: Two ways is correct.

COSTELLO: Unemployment can go down if someone gets a job?

ABBOTT: Correct.

COSTELLO: And unemployment can also go down if you stop paying benefits to those who are looking for a job?

ABBOTT: Bingo.

COSTELLO: So there are two ways to bring unemployment down, and the easier of the two is to just stop paying benefits?

ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like a politician.

COSTELLO: But didn't the politicians extend the unemployment benefits for people looking for work?

ABBOTT: Yes, but they only extended them until we got to a presidential election year. Then they drop off big time.

COSTELLO: Why would they do that?

ABBOTT: So that the party out of power could be blamed for not extending the unemployment benefits and the party in power can claim that unemployment is coming down.

COSTELLO: But that's not true in either case.

ABBOTT: It doesn't matter what's true as long as you can convince the voters.

COSTELLO: Wow, now I'm really confused.

ABBOTT: That's exactly how you win elections... Confuse the voters!