Where did I go wrong...?

In the course of my travels, I found myself in Greenwood, SC.

Now - WHERE is Greenwood, SC, you may ask...?

WELL - it's about 50 miles from anywhere - in the middle of nowhere. I'm 50 miles south of Greenville, SC... 50 miles north of Augusta, GA...and 50 miles west of Columbia, SC. So of course - am stuck here for the night.

Accepting my lot in life, I find a hotel (Holiday Inn Express...nice...) and look for someplace to get some dinner. GEE - there's a Japanese place next door, and it looks busy...this is a good sign.

(Um... did I say that I am in the middle of nowhere?)

So - I walk over to "Fuji Express".
Mistake #1...NEVER EAT IN A PLACE WITH THE WORD "EXPRESS" IN IT. You're just ASKING for trouble.

It's PACKED with locals..so am guessing it's gotta be acceptable. Almost every seat is packed, and the prices aren't bad.
Mistake #2: THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS INEXPENSIVE JAPANESE FOOD...

I see the menu...no sushi at all.
Mistake #3: IT'S NOT A JAPANESE PLACE IF THEY DON'T SERVE SUSHI.

So - I go up to the counter... and tried to ask a few questions about the items available.
Mistake #4: IT'S NOT JAPANESE IF THE ENTIRE STAFF IS SPEAKING SPANISH.

I place my order and go sit down - steak/shrimp/scallops with veggies and rice (not bad, I think to myself). A few locals start chatting with me, and they tell me how good the food is here...
Mistake #5: DON'T TRUST THE JUDGMENT OF ANY FORM OF ETHNIC CUISINE FROM A GROUP OF LOCALS THAT ARE OUTNUMBERED BY THEIR TEETH BY ONLY A 6-TO-1 RATIO!

Soon...the food arrives. Doesn't LOOK bad....

Then - I tasted it.

* The rice was greasy.
* The carrots were fresh...from the can - all soft and mushy (didn't even change the packing water).
* The scallops were rubbery.
* The shrimp was overdone.
* At least the steak was palatable....barely.

The final insult was that - as I walked out of this gastronomic nightmare - I see the 4-star review from the local paper framed on the wall....

Tomorrow - I will upgrade to some haute cuisine...WAFFLE HOUSE...